The greatest failure is to have never really tried. -Robyn Allan- [unstoppable]
Showing posts with label reminder小提醒. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reminder小提醒. Show all posts
Saturday, 3 January 2015
The greatest failure
Sunday, 21 December 2014
9 Things Very Successful People Never Do
I’ve this great article from: http://www.businessinsider.com/things-successful-people-never-do-2014-12?IR=T&utm_content=buffer71feb&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Possibly you've stopped paying attention. Or possibly you've fallen into bad habits. Or possibly you've grown complacent.
Whatever the reasons, you're now compromising, settling, or flying on unhappy autopilot.
Remarkably successful people don't compromise on their standards. They don't settle for less than what they hope to achieve. And they definitely don't put their lives on autopilot. They believe success only comes from intention and action — and so they live that way.
Here are nine things remarkably successful people never do:
Easier said than done? It all depends on your perspective. Take mistakes: When something goes wrong, turn it into an opportunity to learn something you didn't know — especially about yourself. (And when something goes wrong for someone else, turn it into an opportunity to be gracious and forgiving.)
Where you've been, what you've done — everything in the past is just training.
Remarkably successful people believe their past should inform them but should never define them.
Unfortunately, the person who gossips about other people is also gossiping about you. And suddenly gossip isn't so much fun.
The next time you're tempted to talk about another person, think about whether you would say what you're about to say to that person.
And the next time someone starts to talk about someone else, excuse yourself and walk away. Don't worry that you'll lose a gossiper's respect; anyone willing to gossip doesn't respect other people anyway.
When remarkably successful people want to share the inside scoop, they just speak openly about their own thoughts and feelings. That way they're not gossiping. They're just being genuine.
When you say no, you only feel bad for a few moments. When you agree to something you really don't want to do, you may feel bad for a long time — or at least as long as it takes you to do what you didn't want to do in the first place.
Remarkably successful people practice saying no. They've gotten really good at saying no. They know that lets them focus on doing what they really need to do, for themselves and for other people.
Want better professional relationships? Want better personal relationships? Listen, truly listen, to what other people say. Then ask questions to make sure you understand.
Remarkably successful people already know what they think — they want to learn from what everyone else thinks.
And it makes other people resent you like crazy. Whenever you're late, other people rightly assume you feel your time is more important than theirs. (Which, of course, kills your chance of building an outstanding personal or professional relationship.)
Although you may believe you can't help it, being late is a choice. You allow yourself to be late.
Remarkably successful people start the day a little earlier. They arrive early to their first scheduled event. They don't worry that they'll waste time — they plan ahead and bring along whatever they need to use any "early" time to get a few simple things done.
Then they feel a lot less stressed and as a result are more insightful, more creative, more decisive, and simply more "on" in everything they do.
The same holds for bitterness. And jealousy. And dislike.
When you hold on to ill will, the only person who loses is you.
Remarkably successful people put all that emotional energy into focusing not on what others have done but on what they themselves will do.
Actually they have a great life: They've figured out what is important to them and they're making it happen.
Figure out what's important to you. Strip away all the stuff that isn't. Then make it happen.
We're all given the same amount of time. The only difference is how we use our time.
Remarkably successful people use their time.
Those are all "things," and while other people may in fact like our "things," that doesn't mean they like you. (And even if they do, that doesn't mean you like yourself.)
Remarkably successful people have decided to simply be who they are. By not trying to fit in or make an artificial impression they know they might lose a bunch of acquaintances, but they know they'll also gain a few real friends.
Why? We're all afraid. We're scared of what might or might not happen. We're scared of what we can't change. We're scared of what we won't be able to do. We're scared of how others might perceive us.
And that makes us hesitate, wait for the right moment, decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives, and days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or design new products or services, take the first step.
Remarkably successful people put their fears aside and get started. They do something. They do anything.
Remarkably successful people are often afraid, but they're most afraid of looking back and thinking, "If only I had ..."
Don't look back and think, "If only I had ..."
Possibly you've stopped paying attention. Or possibly you've fallen into bad habits. Or possibly you've grown complacent.
Whatever the reasons, you're now compromising, settling, or flying on unhappy autopilot.
Remarkably successful people don't compromise on their standards. They don't settle for less than what they hope to achieve. And they definitely don't put their lives on autopilot. They believe success only comes from intention and action — and so they live that way.
Here are nine things remarkably successful people never do:
1. They never let the past dictate their future.
We all have limitations. We all have challenges. We all make mistakes. The key is to not be constrained by those things but to learn from them.Easier said than done? It all depends on your perspective. Take mistakes: When something goes wrong, turn it into an opportunity to learn something you didn't know — especially about yourself. (And when something goes wrong for someone else, turn it into an opportunity to be gracious and forgiving.)
Where you've been, what you've done — everything in the past is just training.
Remarkably successful people believe their past should inform them but should never define them.
2. They never gossip.
It's hard to resist the inside scoop. Finding out the reasons behind someone's decisions, the motivations behind someone's actions, the skinny behind someone's hidden agenda — much less whether Hugo is really dating Jeanette in accounting — those conversations are hard to resist.Unfortunately, the person who gossips about other people is also gossiping about you. And suddenly gossip isn't so much fun.
The next time you're tempted to talk about another person, think about whether you would say what you're about to say to that person.
And the next time someone starts to talk about someone else, excuse yourself and walk away. Don't worry that you'll lose a gossiper's respect; anyone willing to gossip doesn't respect other people anyway.
When remarkably successful people want to share the inside scoop, they just speak openly about their own thoughts and feelings. That way they're not gossiping. They're just being genuine.
3. They never say "yes" when they really mean "no."
Refusing a request from colleagues, customers, or even friends is really hard. But rarely does saying no go over as badly as you expect. Most people will understand, and if they don't, should you care too much about what they think?When you say no, you only feel bad for a few moments. When you agree to something you really don't want to do, you may feel bad for a long time — or at least as long as it takes you to do what you didn't want to do in the first place.
Remarkably successful people practice saying no. They've gotten really good at saying no. They know that lets them focus on doing what they really need to do, for themselves and for other people.
4. They never interrupt.
When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not thinking about what you are saying. I'm thinking about what I want to say ... and what I want to say is so important you need to hear it now."Want better professional relationships? Want better personal relationships? Listen, truly listen, to what other people say. Then ask questions to make sure you understand.
Remarkably successful people already know what they think — they want to learn from what everyone else thinks.
Stephen/FlickrSuccessful people make it a priority to be on time.
5. They're never late (without an incredibly good reason).
I know. You're overwhelmed. So you're always running behind. It stresses you out like crazy.And it makes other people resent you like crazy. Whenever you're late, other people rightly assume you feel your time is more important than theirs. (Which, of course, kills your chance of building an outstanding personal or professional relationship.)
Although you may believe you can't help it, being late is a choice. You allow yourself to be late.
Remarkably successful people start the day a little earlier. They arrive early to their first scheduled event. They don't worry that they'll waste time — they plan ahead and bring along whatever they need to use any "early" time to get a few simple things done.
Then they feel a lot less stressed and as a result are more insightful, more creative, more decisive, and simply more "on" in everything they do.
6. They never resent.
Take it from Nelson Mandela: "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."The same holds for bitterness. And jealousy. And dislike.
When you hold on to ill will, the only person who loses is you.
Remarkably successful people put all that emotional energy into focusing not on what others have done but on what they themselves will do.
7. They never decide they don't have the time.
Everyone knows someone who just seems to get a lot more done than other people. It's the craziest thing. How do these folks do it? They must have no life, right?Actually they have a great life: They've figured out what is important to them and they're making it happen.
Figure out what's important to you. Strip away all the stuff that isn't. Then make it happen.
We're all given the same amount of time. The only difference is how we use our time.
Remarkably successful people use their time.
8. They never fit in (just to fit in).
Though entire industries are based on making us think otherwise, no one actually likes us for the clothes we wear, the car we drive, or the house we live in. No one likes us for our titles, either.Those are all "things," and while other people may in fact like our "things," that doesn't mean they like you. (And even if they do, that doesn't mean you like yourself.)
Remarkably successful people have decided to simply be who they are. By not trying to fit in or make an artificial impression they know they might lose a bunch of acquaintances, but they know they'll also gain a few real friends.
9. They're never afraid to do the things that matter.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," is true, but in some ways a better quote might be, "The only thing we have to fear is ourselves."Why? We're all afraid. We're scared of what might or might not happen. We're scared of what we can't change. We're scared of what we won't be able to do. We're scared of how others might perceive us.
And that makes us hesitate, wait for the right moment, decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives, and days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.
And so do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning, whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get started on it today. If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or design new products or services, take the first step.
Remarkably successful people put their fears aside and get started. They do something. They do anything.
Remarkably successful people are often afraid, but they're most afraid of looking back and thinking, "If only I had ..."
Don't look back and think, "If only I had ..."
Friday, 19 December 2014
用爱心说诚实话
圣经 - 以弗所书4:15 惟用爱心说诚实话 。。。 。。。
“用爱心说诚实话”原文直译为“在爱中讲道理”。爱是说话的动机,真理是说话的内容;爱是成长的力量,真理是成长的方向。有爱却不说真理,会把人宠坏;说真理而不是出于爱,会把人摧毁。
取自:《给事奉充充电》- 蔡颂辉牧师
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
平台不一样,载体不一样,结果就不一样了!
在网络上看到这样的一个评论,觉得有点意思。。。
“人骑上自行车,两脚使劲踩1小时只能跑10公里左右;人开上汽车,一脚轻踏油门1小时能够跑100公里左右;人坐上动车,闭上眼睛1小时也能跑300公里;人登上飞机,吃着美味1小时居然跑1000公里!人还是那个人,平台不一样,载体不一样,结果就不一样了!所以选择比努力更重要!”
我觉得说的非常好与正确,但我觉得在做这样的选择之前应该要清楚我们要前往的目标/地点。不然费尽心思和时间为了登上最快的那个,虽然或许可以在快速前进的同时吃着美味,但却只是迷茫的在快速前进,一直到回过神来才发觉这平台,载体尽然将自己带离我们的生命目标更远的一个地方,那不就只是换来一个叹息。
明白了自己的目标,就可以大约的探讨那距离,然后按自己可能所拥有的时间来探讨应该使用什么平台和载体。有时候最慢的并非是没有意义的,不然上帝也不会创造蜗牛了。
看到这里,我想是时候我们再一次来思考和探讨我们个人的人生意义和人生真正的目标。没有头绪吗?或许我上帝的话【圣经】可以帮助到你,不妨去找一本来看看。
Monday, 3 November 2014
人生的最痛The greatest pain in life
回首人生,最痛的不是失敗,而是没有經歷自己想要經歷的一切。
The greatest pain in life isn't failure, but failing to experience everything you've always wanted to experience.
The greatest pain in life isn't failure, but failing to experience everything you've always wanted to experience.
Wednesday, 29 October 2014
Rise
When God blesses you financially, don't raise your standard of living. Raise your standard of giving. (Mark Batterson)
Tuesday, 28 October 2014
完美的錯誤
这好文章取自: http://www.luke54.org/view/1060/5586.html?r=2
有一個年輕人,想要到巴西東南部的薩爾瓦多去觀光,可是等他一下飛機,大吃一驚,因為他抵達的不是巴西,而是中美洲的小國薩爾瓦多!
「這是怎麼回事?」他打電話回家,把幫忙買機票的弟弟痛罵了一頓。
「唔,老哥,往好處想,」弟弟慢條斯理地回答:「這說明你自己也是散仙,否則沿途的各種蛛絲馬跡,必定能使你發現拿到了一張錯誤的機票。看來這次我在購買上的失誤,反而讓你看見了自己的缺點,真是塞翁失馬,焉知非福啊!」
飆了一堆髒話以後,年輕人怒氣沖沖地把手機給掛了。沒想到過了一分鐘不到,弟弟又打電話來了。
「搞什麼?還想打來討罵啊?」
「老哥,聽我說,」手機裡傳來一個顫抖的聲音:「剛剛新聞出來了。今天同一時間,飛往巴西薩爾瓦多的那班飛機,它,失蹤了......」
另外一個很類似的故事,是這樣的:
上個世紀時,有一艘大船沉沒,只剩下一個基督徒漂流到一個孤島;剛好他也叫作魯賓遜,和那位小說中鼎鼎大名的主人翁同名。
魯賓遜天天站在岸邊,想盡各種辦法,希望能被人發現,可是始終沒有得到好消息。有一天凌晨的時候,他辛辛苦苦搭蓋的草屋突然失火,而且很快就燒得精光,連裡面的物資都燒得一毛不剩。倉皇逃生的魯賓遜眉毛都沒有了,真是痛心疾首!於是他開始咒罵起上天來:
「神啊,我甚麼都沒有了,你連我這條爛命也要拿走嗎?那麼來吧,來殺死我啊!」
沉沉的天空沒有給他任何答案,於是魯賓遜掏出絕不離身的手槍,往上方和四周亂開火,像是發瘋了一樣。
到了早上,居然有一條船來到島上,披頭散髮的魯賓遜大吃一驚,問船員們怎麼知道這裡有人。
「實不相瞞,幾個小時前我們有人睡不著覺,到甲板上釣魚,正好看見島上有火光,特來查看,要不然我們也不知道。」
船員們又說:「而且你實在運氣好,在來的路上,我們看見一隻黑熊倒斃在草叢中,是被手槍打死的。如果牠還活著,又比我們早一步找到你,你的麻煩可大了呢!」
主耶穌說過一句話:「我所作的,你如今不曉得,後來必明白。」
有時神拿走屬於我們的人事物,不是因為恨惡我們,反而是因為愛我們,要叫我們得著益處;但我們當時並不曉得,總是過了許久之後,才明瞭神的美意。
因此,愚拙的人喜歡找神理論,但有智慧的人不但沉得住氣,更願意憑靠恩典而過活,並且一路上發出讚美與感謝,直到所應許的一切都得成全!
詳全文: http://www.luke54.org/view/1060/5586.html?r=2#ixzz3HP8Ei7R2
Copyright © 2010-2014 水深之處福音網站
Monday, 27 October 2014
歐洲學生為何不尊崇 「吃得苦中苦,方為人上人」?
本文取自: http://www.cmoney.tw/notes/note-detail.aspx?nid=17665
我在荷蘭剛讀博士的時候,
覺得自己應該多去做些雜活掙表現,就總去打掃實驗室。
後來弄得實驗經理認為我喜歡清理實驗室,只讓我一個人做清潔工作。
覺得自己應該多去做些雜活掙表現,就總去打掃實驗室。
後來弄得實驗經理認為我喜歡清理實驗室,只讓我一個人做清潔工作。
很無語,荷蘭人不認同我們華人
“吃苦耐勞,埋頭苦幹”的生存法則。
經濟學家茅于軾先生曾說
“關於我國教育的目的,比較普遍的認識是培養人才…
…人才論把受教育者培養成別人的工具,
而不是為了他自己的人生。”
“關於我國教育的目的,比較普遍的認識是培養人才…
…人才論把受教育者培養成別人的工具,
而不是為了他自己的人生。”
這個觀點很好地解釋了中國和歐美之間的不同狀況,
我們華人通過“吃苦”換回報和認可的心態,
歐美人卻更看重“談判的能力,反抗和敢於衝突的魄力”,
我們華人通過“吃苦”換回報和認可的心態,
歐美人卻更看重“談判的能力,反抗和敢於衝突的魄力”,
要是你給他們留下願意吃苦的印象,
他們只會認為你喜歡幹“苦差事”,
而習慣讓你永遠吃苦。
面對這種情況,我只有主動申明,
我也不喜歡這些事情,以後請同事輪流打掃。
後來,我便停止了對愛好樂趣的犧牲,
不再用“吃得苦中苦,方為人上人”的話來自我安慰。
在這樣一個可以承載很多不同和衝突的地方,
為自己的利益奮鬥,有理有據的反抗是被人讚賞的。
即使在國內,生活也不是總要放棄什麼才能得到你想得到的,
很多元素是可以共存的。
很多元素是可以共存的。
當儒家教育遇上「叢林法則」
“吃苦”還是“不吃苦”,
其實關乎一種選擇的能力和對自我的了解。
其實關乎一種選擇的能力和對自我的了解。
我出國時最直觀的感受就是,
當身邊的歐洲本土學生已經鮮明地在規劃人生的時候,
我們還在好奇的經歷體驗生活。
就是說,我們對人生的選擇和對自我的認知,比他們晚一大步。
當歐洲的孩子經歷著痛苦徬徨的青春期,
不斷找尋人生價值,追問自己是誰、自己想要什麼的時候,
中國的孩子在準備著一輪接一輪的考試,
看似目標明確,但我們小時候沒有“仰望星空”的空暇,
在追逐一個個成為所謂的“人才”的目標時,
我們不知道如何規劃屬於自己的“人生”。
我深深地感受到,鑑於對自己能力和喜好的了解,
在學校和職場上,充斥著自主性和能動性極強的荷蘭人,
他們了解自己的長處弱點,在團隊合作中,
意志堅決,行動敏捷,對自己要達成的目標據理力爭。
而我們完全模糊,不懂自己的底線在哪裡,
不懂得扞衛和談判,很容易淪為為他們服務的工具。
其實這不是種族歧視,
純粹是“狼性叢林法則”下長大的西方人
和“儒家服從性”式教育的東方人的區別。
最初你會覺得他們非常自私強勢,完全不懂為別人考慮,
但其實在團隊開始合作學習項目的最初,
大家有充分的討論時間,來分配任務和規劃責任。
這時,如果你自己沒有明確的想法,沒有為自己爭取,
那麼沒辦法,在以後的團隊合作中,
你就只能做別人都不想做,而自己也不擅長的事情,既勞心又費力。
讓孩子學會爭取「最優配置」
不要以為歐洲的孩子很輕鬆,不用吃苦,
他們的學習強度是非常大的,
只是,他們主張,不管什麼樣的體驗、經歷或挑戰,
都需要學會將個人的潛能充分挖掘出來。
他們的學習強度是非常大的,
只是,他們主張,不管什麼樣的體驗、經歷或挑戰,
都需要學會將個人的潛能充分挖掘出來。
我在荷蘭讀營養學碩士的第一堂課,
是一個兩個月的專案,
專案名稱是《開發研製一種營養品並且完成歐盟的健康申報計劃》。
項目的實戰性這麼強,需要很多規劃和權衡。
如果沒有一定的自我認知力和選擇力,
任何學生都很難為自己爭取最優的配置。
荷蘭學生卻對此駕輕就熟,
他們從小就被訓練如何通過談判和規劃,
讓自己在工作學習完善的同時也享受生活、追求快樂。
課堂上,荷蘭學生上來就能拿到更利於發揮自己特長,
又能事半功倍的任務,而華人學生卻只能乾瞪眼,
覺得自己被荷蘭人佔了便宜,非常鬱悶。
其實,要克服這個窘境很簡單,就是讓孩子不斷了解自己,
多追問自己幾個“為什麼”,少抱怨幾個“憑什麼”,
鼓勵孩子大膽表明自己的立場,為自己爭取,
懂得反抗和扞衛,了解妥協的底線和需要達到的目的,
如此,才能在學習和工作中保持旺盛的主觀能動性,取得最佳成績。
華人受“木桶理論”影響太深
我們得教育很喜歡宣揚“木桶理論”,
告訴孩子,決定成敗的不是木桶最長的那塊板,而是最短的那塊。
所以無論孩子多大了,家長依然不斷督促孩子改正其不足。
這樣,孩子反而不自信,
對自身的優點認識不夠,便很難發揮出強項來。
告訴孩子,決定成敗的不是木桶最長的那塊板,而是最短的那塊。
所以無論孩子多大了,家長依然不斷督促孩子改正其不足。
這樣,孩子反而不自信,
對自身的優點認識不夠,便很難發揮出強項來。
最典型的,莫過於很長一段時間,高考的“標準分制”,
考生如果有一門“瘸腿科”,總分會受到非常大的影響。
而在荷蘭可不是這樣,學校的考試也好,公司的培訓也罷,
首先問的是你擅長什麼,特別感興趣的是什麼。
因為他們看來,培訓就是要讓人好的地方更好,
只有學習擅長的東西才能讓人學得快、用得好。
那麼弱點和缺點怎麼辦?沒關係!
上文提到了,在國外都是“團隊合作”,
你不擅長的地方有另一個擅長此道的同學或同事和你互補來共同完成。
每個人都去發揮自己的長處才能到達效率最大化。
但你要認識到你的優點和不足,在學習和工作中,
明確闡述哪些地方你可以獨當一面,哪些地方你需要支持。
這也是為什麼國外學生更少學習生存壓力、身心不易疲憊的原因。
好在新生代父母們,已經不再是“二分法”,
不再像十年前那代家長一樣糾結,
越來越多的孩子真正為了興趣而學習,
為了自己而學習。
是啊,回到原點想一下,
適當的挫折教育是必要的,
但何必把孩子的成長綁架?
如果家長都認為學習必須是“苦”的,
又怎能讓孩子樂在其中,成長的意義何在呢?
特别摘录:
有些孩子在青春期經歷著痛苦的徬徨,
不斷找尋人生價值,追問自己是誰、自己想要什麼的時候,
另外一些孩子在準備著一輪接一輪的考試,
看似目標明確,但这些小孩子从来沒有“仰望星空”的空暇,
在追逐一個個成為所謂的“人才”的目標時,
他们不知道如何規劃屬於自己的“人生”。
在追逐一個個成為所謂的“人才”的目標時,
他们不知道如何規劃屬於自己的“人生”。
Thursday, 25 September 2014
白頭到老的秘密
當你看到老夫老妻手牽手一起散步時,你是不是會想:「這對老夫婦為何還可以這麼甜蜜的在一起?」美國有一篇文章探討『白頭到老』的夫婦是如何辦到的,這文章訪問了許多結婚都超過幾十年以上的夫婦他們成功秘密。其中一位夫婦的老公被問到他成功的秘密時,他說:「我娶了一位不可思議的女人,我對我自己承諾要用我對任何重要的事一樣的精神來對待這段婚姻,不管是學業、工作、健康、友誼,我也要用同樣的精神來經營這段婚姻,我不想要用輕浮或占便宜的態度來對待事情。我的另一半也是用同樣的方式對待這婚姻,因此我們是很合的一對,我無法想像沒有她的生活」。這對成功的夫婦了解如何把他們的感情放在第一順位而不讓它偏離軌道。這裡來跟各位分享『白頭到老』的秘密到底有哪些,成功的情侶在交往階段時就應該要知道的事,你跟你身邊那位重要的人是否有符合以下可以『白頭到老』的條件呢?
1. 成功的情侶享受對方
他們就是很簡單的喜歡跟對方在一起,喜歡一起聊天,喜歡一起做事情。一對結婚超過30年的丈夫當被問到他成功的祕密時,他說:「我很慶幸她能忍受我的一切,我很愛她,她也很愛我,壞的時候比好的時候少,我們很合,我們也花很多時間在一起,就是這樣而已」。
2. 成功的情侶會有技巧的吵架
道德經教我們當有衝突時要公平與寬容的對待。當兩個人住在一起時一定會有意見不合的時候,成功的情侶會吵架,但是有技巧的吵,他們吵完會讓感情更堅強而不是更脆弱。美國加州柏克萊大學對關係良好的情侶做了一項研究,他們發現這些情侶吵架時都會用「我們」而不會用「我」,這樣可以減少吵架時的緊張情緒,讓對方感覺你們是一體的,而不是敵人。
3. 成功的情侶會尋求原諒及給予原諒
他們也許不會原諒與忘記一切,但會原諒與釋懷。他們做錯事的時候會道歉,對方做錯事的時候會接受對方的道歉,成功的情侶會往原諒的方向前進。一位感情作家寫到如何到達完全原諒的四個階段:
放棄 - 暫停一下,想一想那個人跟事情的經過。
忍耐 – 不要想去懲罰那錯誤,不管是用大或小的方式,用多一點美德對待事情。
遺忘 – 不要一直停留在事情上,不要一直握著不放,尤其是事情的記憶,去遺忘是往前進而不是退縮的態度。
原諒 – 下定決心不要懷恨在心,原諒對方的錯而不要去報復。
4. 成功的情侶會一起長期奮戰
美國NBA職籃知名教練說過:「承諾只有兩種,就是你要一起奮戰到底,或是你要退出放棄,人生不容許中間者」。成功的情侶不只是做出承諾,他們還會遵守承諾。一對結婚30年以上的夫婦說:「我們一起生活很快樂因為我們遵守了結婚時的諾言,不管是有錢或沒錢、好或壞、生病或健康、我們都會一起度過」。當他老婆發生了一場嚴重的車禍她還記得:「我老公從頭到尾都在我身邊,他是世界上最無私的人,我有一位不可思議的丈夫,他也是我唯一能信賴的人」。
5. 成功的情侶對彼此保有正面的態度
一位專門研究婚姻的博士說快樂的情侶在生活上:「對彼此都有尊重、喜愛、同理心,而會對彼此的生活很關注」。他還發現:「穩定的情侶說話時,對彼此每講一句負面話會講五句正面話,而快離婚的情侶每講一句負面的話會講不到一句正面的話」。
6. 成功的情侶會一起成長與學習
成功的情侶會跟隨對方的優點與興趣。假如有一方開始過健康的生活,另一方就會加入,假如有一方開始有新的興趣或活動,另一方也會開始投入,結果會是更多互動與更深厚的感請。一對結婚超過30年的夫婦決定一起回學校進修,他們說到:「我們一起進修將近五年,一起上課、一起念書,我們修了很多課,後來還說服教授讓我們一起寫論文,那真是一段沒好的時光」。
7. 成功的情侶不會停止約會
一對情侶走遍12,000英里,他們訪問很多結婚超過40年以上的夫婦(稱之為: 婚姻大師)關於他們的秘密是什麼。這些婚姻大師都有一個共同點就是他們可以維持生活中跟對方的浪漫。有些人會每個禮拜空出一天來約會,有些人會計劃一起去旅遊,其他人會約下午一起喝下午茶或咖啡,聊天講心事。
8. 成功的情侶會帶給彼此歡樂
一位博士在他的書裡面提到,他安排了一項表演送給他老婆當生日禮物,他說:「我老婆有著非常美麗的歌聲,但很少用到,能讓她展現她的才華不就是最好的禮物」。他找了許多不同背景的人跟他老婆一起唱歌給親朋好友聽,後來他提到:「我這輩子沒看過我老婆這麼開心,除了我們的小孩出世以外」。
9. 成功的情侶都遵守60/40的規則
訪問婚姻大師的情侶也發現那些婚姻大師都非常的無私,其中一位婚姻大師說:「我絕對不會忘記我的導師42年前跟我還有我老婆講過的話,很多人以為婚姻是50/50,但它不是,其實是60/40,你付出60%然後接受40%,兩人都一樣」。他一直到今天都遵守這規則。
10. 成功的情侶有同樣的價值觀
一位87歲的老婦人當她被問到她57年的婚姻成功的秘密時,她回答:「這是件很偉大的成就。找到有同樣價值觀的人很重要,假如你喜歡花錢那就要找一位能了解這點的人,假如你很愛省錢那就要找一位能了解這點的人,因為錢是婚姻裡很大的一個阻礙。很幸運的我們的價值觀都相同,目標也相同,我們都相信教育,而希望教導我們的小孩長大成為有好觀念而不會亂花錢的人」。
最後,詩人Robert Browning把婚姻成功的秘密簡短的表達出來:「婚姻成功的秘密比較不是要找到對的人,而是當那對的人」。
本文取自:http://etlife.tw/mobile/article.php?news=144550&type&channel=33
Thursday, 28 August 2014
道德与智慧
道德与智慧
12年前,一个人刚毕业就去了法国,开始了半工半读的留 学生活。渐渐地,他发现当地的公共交通系统自助售票,你 想到哪个地方,根据目的地自行买票,车站几乎都是开放式 的,不设检票口,也没有检票员。随机性的抽查非常少。他 发现了这个管理上的漏洞, 凭着自己的聪明,精确地估算了这样一个概率:逃票而被查 到的比例大约仅为万分之三。
从此之后,他经常逃票上车。 他还找到了一个宽慰自己的理由:自己还是穷学生嘛,能省 一点是一点。
四年过去了,只被抓住了3次,补票而已。
毕业成绩让他充满信心。他开始向一些大公司申请工作。奇 怪的是,这些公司开始都是热情有加,数日之后,都是婉言 相拒。一次次的失败,使他认为一定是这些公司排斥中国人 。
这一次,他要求经理给出一个不录用的合理理由。经理说: 先生,我们并不歧视你,相反,我们很重视你。你一来求职 的时候,我们对你的教育背景和学术水平都很感兴趣,老实 说,从工作能力上,你就是我们所要找的人。但我们查了你 的信用记录,发现你有三次乘公交车逃票被处罚的记录。
我不否认这个。但为了这点儿事,你们就拒绝一个多次在学 报上发表论文的人?
我们并不认为这是小事。我们注意到,第一次逃票是在你来 我们国家后的第一个星期, 检查人员相信了你的解释,因为你说自己还不熟悉自助售票 系统,只是给你补了票。但在这之后,你又两次逃票。
那时刚好我口袋中没有零钱。
不、不,先生。我不同意你这种解释,你在怀疑我的智商。 我相信在被查获前,你可能有数百次逃票的经历。
干吗那么认真?以后改还不行吗?
不、不,先生。此事证明了两点:
第一,你不尊重规则。你善于发现规则中的漏洞并恶意使用 。
第二,你缺乏诚实而不值得信任。我们公司的许多工作是必 须依靠信任进行的。为了节约成本,我们没有办法设置复杂 的监督系统,正如我们的公共交通系统一样。所以我们没有 办法雇用你:确切地说,在整个欧盟,你可能找不到雇用你 的公司。」
直到此时,他才如梦方醒、懊悔难当。
更让他扎心的,是对方最后一句话:道德常常能弥补智慧的 缺陷,然而,智慧永远填补不了道德的空白。
点评:
一、个人、公司、组织、国家,都是如此。
二、道德、道德,有道才有德,无道必无德。
圣经说:不要自以为有智慧;要敬畏上帝,远离恶事。敬畏 上帝是智慧的开端;凡遵行他命令的,是聪明人。(箴言 3:7诗篇111:10)
取自:https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=732876860093228&set=a.242229822491270.59623.100001127621213&type=1
12年前,一个人刚毕业就去了法国,开始了半工半读的留
从此之后,他经常逃票上车。 他还找到了一个宽慰自己的理由:自己还是穷学生嘛,能省
四年过去了,只被抓住了3次,补票而已。
毕业成绩让他充满信心。他开始向一些大公司申请工作。奇
这一次,他要求经理给出一个不录用的合理理由。经理说:
我不否认这个。但为了这点儿事,你们就拒绝一个多次在学
我们并不认为这是小事。我们注意到,第一次逃票是在你来
那时刚好我口袋中没有零钱。
不、不,先生。我不同意你这种解释,你在怀疑我的智商。
干吗那么认真?以后改还不行吗?
不、不,先生。此事证明了两点:
第一,你不尊重规则。你善于发现规则中的漏洞并恶意使用
第二,你缺乏诚实而不值得信任。我们公司的许多工作是必
直到此时,他才如梦方醒、懊悔难当。
更让他扎心的,是对方最后一句话:道德常常能弥补智慧的
点评:
一、个人、公司、组织、国家,都是如此。
二、道德、道德,有道才有德,无道必无德。
圣经说:不要自以为有智慧;要敬畏上帝,远离恶事。敬畏
取自:https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=732876860093228&set=a.242229822491270.59623.100001127621213&type=1
Thursday, 21 August 2014
計較vs計劃
要計劃但別計較。
若今天是生命的最後一天,你還會選擇如此計較嗎?若未來還有千萬年,你會选择像个落叶般随风漂流吗?
以諾語錄
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
吵架
前幾個星期參加了【親密之旅】導師研習會,當中非常強調的就是。。。情緒的,認識,管理和處理。。。
以前非常不理解情緒,更不能接受情緒,結果吃了許多苦頭。在研習會中學習到原來情緒若是沒有正確的管理和處理,那以後將要處理很多莫名其妙的事件。
個人學以致用的例子便是在於跟內人的關係上,因為這是之前我多番努力但卻一直碰壁的其中一個最嚴重的地方。現在只能說還好有去上研習會,但卻怎麼不早點有機會去上,不然真的不知自己的無知帶給心愛的人不是幸福和愛而是深深的傷痛。
各位,若是正繼續閱讀着小弟部落格,請趕快到網絡上尋找【親密之旅】然後安排時間去上課吧。。。你會發現絕對是需要的。
以前非常不理解情緒,更不能接受情緒,結果吃了許多苦頭。在研習會中學習到原來情緒若是沒有正確的管理和處理,那以後將要處理很多莫名其妙的事件。
個人學以致用的例子便是在於跟內人的關係上,因為這是之前我多番努力但卻一直碰壁的其中一個最嚴重的地方。現在只能說還好有去上研習會,但卻怎麼不早點有機會去上,不然真的不知自己的無知帶給心愛的人不是幸福和愛而是深深的傷痛。
各位,若是正繼續閱讀着小弟部落格,請趕快到網絡上尋找【親密之旅】然後安排時間去上課吧。。。你會發現絕對是需要的。
Tuesday, 12 August 2014
有點意思
任何东西要变成价值,都必须被人了解、认同、接受、喜欢,这个过程就是销售。
做老板的别说你是搞企业的,你是公司最大的销售员;
马云说:我一直在销售阿里巴巴和淘宝;
张瑞敏说:我一直在销售海尔和冰箱。
那你,在销售什么呢?
失败者一开口:我不喜欢。成功者一开口:我要尝试一下。
没有任何人骨子里想创业、想加班、想出差,为什么他们经常做?
因为可以成就人生!
因为可以成就人生!
人是惯性动物,当你创业、销售、加班久了也就习惯了,也就喜欢了,也就享受了。就如你用左手拿筷子,久了,也习惯喜欢了。
改变想法,改变人生。
思路决定出路,想法决定活法。
学习使你进步,开会助你成功。
所有辉煌一时、倒闭衰退的人都是因为不学习。
时代在变,你在哪里?资讯传播在加速,你在学习吗?你有跟上节奏吗?
开会可以即时消化成功者的思想,开会可以扩大人脉圈,开会可以统一人的言行。
改变语言改变命运,管好情绪管好人生。
开口说话给人希望,给人力量,给人智慧。让人接受你、喜欢你、离不开你,你的命运自然改变。
不要动不动就说你就这个脾气,就是这个性格。既然知道了自己有个臭脾气,就更要管好自己的情绪。
你不是个孩子了,你没有资格用脾气扼杀命运。
你一辈子要修的功课就是管理好情绪和脾气。
脾气好了,一切都慢慢好了。
积极主动,大量行动,老天都助你成功。
所有成功的人都是积极主动的人。积极的思维,积极的态度,不去等待而是变被动为主动。因为他们明白,谁主动谁掌控。
没有任何一个成功者没有坎坷过,他们深深知道,经验是在挫折中总结出来的。
Sunday, 10 August 2014
上帝在乎的
上帝在乎的不是我們所做的事(doing),而是我們是什麼樣的人(being)。
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
终极礼物
你以为持续收到一流名牌精品的礼物,就代表对方对你的感情牢固,送你这句话。。。
时间才是终极的礼物。
终极礼物不是金钱,也不是天价珠宝。而是时间。
时间的礼物,是和你分享生命。
不送鲜花,珠宝没关系,挤出时间和对方见面聊天,才是最棒的礼物。
取自:你不知道絕對會後悔的100句話。
时间才是终极的礼物。
终极礼物不是金钱,也不是天价珠宝。而是时间。
时间的礼物,是和你分享生命。
不送鲜花,珠宝没关系,挤出时间和对方见面聊天,才是最棒的礼物。
取自:你不知道絕對會後悔的100句話。
Monday, 4 August 2014
忙碌
如果你覺得實現夢想,再忙都可以忍受,那送你這句話…
忙碌的人是無法實現夢想。
有些人喜歡拿出記事本炫耀,"我忙死了,今天開了一整天的會。"
上班族要避免自己在不知不覺中變成這種人。因為,這世界上沒有任何忙碌的人能實現夢想,過着幸福快樂的人生。
無論是人還是公司,一旦變得忙碌而緊迫,都毫無例外地開始急速衰退,無法細水長流。
上班族要避免自己在不知不覺中變成這種人。因為,這世界上沒有任何忙碌的人能實現夢想,過着幸福快樂的人生。
無論是人還是公司,一旦變得忙碌而緊迫,都毫無例外地開始急速衰退,無法細水長流。
取自:你不知道絕對會後悔的100句話。
Saturday, 26 July 2014
MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY
A friend share this amazing story in a whats apps group chat, I found the moral teaching is really important, so decided to keep it in my blog for future reference and to share.
Germany is a highly industrialized country. In such a country, many will think its people lead a luxurious life.
When we arrived at Hamburg , my colleagues walked into the restaurant, we noticed that a lot of tables were empty. There was a table where a young couple was having their meal. There were only two dishes and two cans of beer on the table. I wondered if such simple meal could be romantic, and whether the girl will leave this stingy guy.There were a few old ladies on another table. When a dish is served, the waiter would distribute the food for them, and they would finish every bit of the food on their plates.
As we were hungry, our local colleague ordered more food for us.When we left, there was still about one third of un-consumed food on the table. When we were leaving the restaurant, the old ladies spoke to us in English, we understood that they were unhappy about us wasting so much food."We paid for our food, it is none of your business how much food we left behind," my colleague told the old ladies. The old ladies were furious. One of them immediately took her hand phone out and made a call to someone.
After a while, a man in uniform from Social Security organisation arrived. Upon knowing what the dispute was, he issued us a 50 Euro fine. We all kept quiet.The officer told us in a stern voice, "ORDER WHAT YOU CAN CONSUME, MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE FACING SHORTAGE OF RESOURCES. YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WASTE RESOURCES."
The mindset of people of this rich country put all of us to shame. WE REALLY NEED TO REFLECT ON THIS. We are from country which is not very rich in resources. To save face, we order large quantity and also waste food when we give others a treat.
(Courtesy: A friend who is now changed a lot)
THE LESSON IS:- THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT CHANGING OUR BAD HABITS. Expecting acknowledgment, that u read the message and forward to your contacts.
VERY TRUE -"MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY."
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
做自己非常有熱誠的事
"我喜樂,不是因為有優越的成績單,而是有學習與嘗試的機會。"
取自:中信 579期
是的,當我們有機會從事自己非常有熱誠的事務時,有好的成績單固然是會令人非常歡喜,但真正的喜樂是因為有學習與嘗試的機會。
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
被金钱驾驶的人 vs 驾驶金钱的人
在网络上看到一个穷人和有钱人对比的图表,阅读过后删除了一些我觉得不太适合的重点,另外我也不赞用金钱的多和少来分别,因为圣经在箴言19:1 提醒我们“行为纯正的贫穷人,胜过乖谬愚妄的富足人。”。而我我选择使用被金钱驾驶的人和驾驶金钱的人来分别,因为再有钱的人也可能不是金钱的主人。
一、对金钱的思维方式
被金钱驾驶的人
|
驾驶金钱的人
|
我办不到
|
我怎样才能办到
|
我要为赚钱而工作
| 我要让金钱为我工作 |
要是我再年轻一点
|
我还很年轻
|
我受的教育有限
|
我会不断学习
|
要是我老爸给我留下……
|
成功要靠自己
|
稳定的工作就是一切
|
不断进取才是一切
|
赚钱的时候要小心,别去冒风险
|
要学会管理风险
|
我没有资金
|
我想办法找资金
|
我可买不起
|
我想办法买得起
|
钱不好赚
|
赚钱很容易
|
这是一个贫穷的世界
| 这是一个富有的世界 |
二、看待问题的角度
被金钱驾驶的人
|
驾驶金钱的人
|
在问题面前束手无策
|
想办法解决问题
|
心灵是封闭的
|
头脑是开放的
|
观念是陈旧的
|
观念是崭新的
|
只说不做
|
语言後面跟着行动
|
看结果做事
|
看趋势做事
|
只看消极与失败的一面
|
先看积极和光明之处
|
在失败面前找藉口
|
在失败之後找原因
|
字典中总有「不可能」
|
字典中没有「不可能」
|
不愿合作,不会利用人际关系
|
喜欢与人合作,会利用人际关系
|
目光短浅,斤斤计较眼前得失
|
目光远大,不会计较一时之利益
|
总觉得时间富裕,无所事事
|
总觉得时间不够用,忙於做事
|
总想休息,工作并痛苦着
|
热爱事业,工作并乐着
|
三、理财的方式
被金钱驾驶的人
|
驾驶金钱的人
|
等待天上掉下礼物
|
不断寻找新的乳酪
|
渴望中奖
|
奠定基业
|
鸡蛋里挑骨头
|
只找下金蛋的鸡
|
期待不劳而获
|
知道只有付出才有收获
|
贫穷是长久的
|
破产是暂时的
|
努力存钱
|
不断地投资
|
购买负债
| 购置资产 |
口袋空空,脑袋也空空
|
口袋充实,脑袋更充实
|
总想去远方寻找宝藏
|
钻石就在脚下
|
四、对待人生的选择
被金钱驾驶的人
|
驾驶金钱的人
|
抱守残缺,不知变革
|
锐意进取,开拓创新
|
遇到挫折就放弃,还没做事就失败了
|
跌倒了再爬起来,不达目的不甘休
|
什麽都想做
|
先做好一件事
|
做成事要靠运气
|
钻石就在脚下
|
空想家
|
梦想家
|
人生是迷途个羔羊
|
人生是惊醒的雄狮
|
坐等最佳时机
|
抓住每一个机会
|
最后,我认为能够真实驾驶金钱是必须知道我们的真正的供应者是谁。
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